3rd Anniversary of "No" Day.

Warning - this entry is long. I just kept writing and writing! Start reading at your own risk.

Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of the day I met Matt. I know most of you have heard the story of how we met, but I thought I would write the story here, in memory of the day.

It was Saturday, April 22, 2006. I was living in Midvale. I didn’t much like my living conditions. I lived with a girl that had a boyfriend that was ALWAYS at our apartment. I didn’t mind that he was always there, but I did mind that when I came into the room they would speak Spanish and pretend I wasn’t there. It was a hard situation, so I found myself doing almost anything to not be home after work.

One of the things that I did to not be home was attend an LDS Institute class. It was a class for the 25 – 30 year old singles. I really liked my class. I didn’t make any friends or actually talk to anyone in the class, but it was nice to get out of the apartment, and the class was really good. I attended classes at the Institute in Sandy. We received a hand-out one day at class that they were having a 25-30 dance at the Institute at the University that we were invited to. I had always avoided dances like the plague, because they just were never fun. But I was feeling pretty good about myself (I had just lost about 30 pounds – all of which I have gained back) and decided to give it another chance. Not wanting to go alone, and not having any friends in the area I took my little sister Val. I believe she was only 24 at the time, but I snuck her in.

The dance was catered by Café Rio, and I figured that if nothing else we would get some yummy food out of the deal. But really I was excited that I was finally cute enough that someone would ask me to dance. I had a good feeling about it. So we ate our food, we stuck around through all the silly games and finally got to the part where they were going to instruct us in Latin Dancing.

It started out fine, with a whole group of people in the front, all kind of by themselves, all learning the steps. Then people were told to pick a partner. Oh no! But I wasn’t too worried, I was doing everything right. I was standing right in the group where it would be easy for someone to find me and ask me to dance. Someone quickly came up to Val and she was gone. Great! Now I am even more approachable because I don’t have another girl by me. Perfect. Any second now someone will come ask me to dance.

They started to instruct the couples and I stayed standing, learning the steps, just waiting for someone to come ask me. This lasted for quite a while, then I noticed that I was really the only one up front that was still up there without a partner. Discouraged, but not defeated I went back to the tables and found a group of girls to talk with (the Pity Table) while they finished the instruction. Finally that ended, Val came back to talk to me and then they started to play fun music. Val and I went up to dance. For a minute we were just having fun dancing. Then some guy came up to me and asked me to dance. He confided in me that he likes to dance with a different girl every dance. I was happy to have been asked to dance and even I tried hard to country swing dance with him even though the song really didn’t call for country swing dance. When the song was over, he high-tailed it out of there and I looked for Val. Thinking that I had found someone to entertain me the rest of the night, she had gone back to her original partner.

I wasn’t going to be the one to put a damper on my sister’s fun, so after realizing that all the boys in the place were still dancing with the girl they picked in the beginning, I returned to my proper place on the Pity Table.

There were some pretty nice girls on the table and we had a good time. I never forgot all the advice I had received during my years and years in Young Women’s and Singles Wards. I would occasionally get up from the table and walk around by myself, giving the guys in the room opportunity to approach me without having to come to the Pity Table. I would walk from the refreshments to the water out the door and back in; always returning a little more dejected to my place on the Pity Table. I convinced a couple of the girls to get up and dance during the fast songs, but we would return during the slow songs.

Slowly the girls at my table gave up and went home. Soon it was just me and one other girl. Her roommate had found a guy in the first dance too. So she had been through the same thing I had that night. By this point in the night I was really just done. I had come in and done everything that I was supposed to – I had tried to be out there for boys to ask. I had even been willing to ask boys to dance, but really, there weren’t many of them hanging around anymore. It was just like all the dances in Junior High, and the non-dances in High School. I was sad and dejected, officially defeated.

Finally, the girl I was hanging out with convinced her roommate to leave, and I was left alone. I was the only girl still at the Institute building that wasn’t slow dancing with her partner. I was relieved when I heard them announce that it was the last song of the night. I pulled a chair up and rested my feet on it. I was so ready to go home. I had received the message from the fates that I wasn’t supposed to go to dances because I would just leave feeling stupid and alone. I was planning the glorious amount of brownies and ice cream I was going to eat when I got home when someone came up to me.

He asked me to dance.

I said no.

Now, It always makes me sound bad when Matt tells the story about how I told him no. But the last song at the dance was almost over, and I was just done with the night. The brownies and ice cream were home waiting to comfort me, and I just wanted to get to them.

They boy didn’t leave. He asked if I wanted to go get a root beer float from the refreshment table with him.

I said no.

I don’t know if many people will understand this one, but I was feeling pretty down on myself right now, and while I was willing to eat a couple gallons of ice cream in the privacy of my own bedroom, there was no way I was going to eat ice cream in public today.

He asked if he could take me out another day. My cynical brain started working now and I realized that he probably had a deal with his buddies that he needed to get a phone number of a girl at this dance, and since I was the only girl still at the dance not holding hands with a boy, I was his last chance. He was cute enough that I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give him my real number.

I was ready to give it to him, and he asked if I had a pen. Nope. I threw out the suggestion that he could just program my number in his cell phone. He didn’t have a phone. I told him I would program him in my phone and it would be almost as good. He didn’t go for that. So he took my phone and called his number and made me leave a message with my name and number. Which I did – never expecting to hear from him again, but happy that I was able to help him win his bet.

Val said good night to her new friend and I said good bye to Matt.

The rest is history.

(If you would like to hear Matt’s version of this story, just ask him.)